


vows

by minachandler



Series: 3 + 1 fics [8]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: F/F, Multiverse, Oaths & Vows, Promises, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-02
Updated: 2018-09-02
Packaged: 2019-07-06 02:48:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15876930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minachandler/pseuds/minachandler
Summary: Across the multiverse, Dinah Laurel Lance and Nyssa (Amina) Raatko make promises to each other. Or, the three earths promises are kept, and the one earth in which they aren't.





	vows

**Author's Note:**

> So this is another fic long in the making, and it's one of my longer fics, actually. It features Laurel and Nyssa on earth-1, earth-8, earth-17 and earth-2, in that order. There's a lot that's inspired this fic, but primarily my friend Sophia, aka SophiaCatherine on AO3, whose encouragement really helped push me to finish this when I felt like giving up. Credit also goes to Mo, who read through an early version of one section of this, and Graz, who looked through the whole thing in record time.

_i. earth-1_

It's still strange for Laurel to see her doppelganger from earth-2, this woman who calls herself Black Siren. This Laurel - no, Laurel corrects, _Dinah_ is what she likes to be called - is her mirror image and yet her imperfect reflection who folded her arms and rolled her eyes when Laurel shared her uncertainty about Nyssa's feelings for her.

But Dinah also did something else. She told Laurel that she should go get her girl, damn it, because Nyssa is so very head-over-heels in love with her and Laurel’s an idiot if she can’t see that, and that lifts Laurel's spirits a little, even now.

Dinah's asleep, her face a little bruised but otherwise looking fine. Laurel isn't entirely sure why she insisted that she and Nyssa rescue her from this new guy Ricardo Diaz - maybe because, in a weird way, Laurel considers Dinah family. At the very least she's Laurel's twin, and resurrected or not, Laurel's always taken care of her family, no matter what earth they happen to be from.

“Are you all right?” Nyssa's voice makes Laurel jump. “I'm sorry if I startled you, ya Laurel.”

Laurel tries to smile. “It's okay. Is that -”

“Big Belly Burger, as promised,” Nyssa says with a smile, holding up the paper bag. “Though they only had strawberry milkshakes.”

“No black and white ones in sight, huh?” Laurel says before she can stop herself and she’s thankful when somehow, miraculously, Nyssa manages a laugh.

“Unfortunately, no.”

“It’s fine - thanks,” Laurel says, taking the bag gratefully. “Hey, we haven't really had a chance to talk about - everything, really.”

“With our little detour to Central City,” Nyssa says, inclining her head a little at Laurel's sleeping doppelganger on the couch, “I suppose we haven't had the time.”

“I can't believe how much she looks like me,” Laurel says quietly, sitting at the table. “I mean - I know you said she was my evil twin but seeing her, speaking to her - it really is like looking in the mirror.”

“I did not say she was your evil anything,” Nyssa says, raising her eyebrows and trying but failing to look affronted. (Her eyes give her away, the way they twinkle with warmth she can't seem to suppress.) “That was more what Thea said, if I recall correctly.”

Biting into a fry, Laurel considers. “Okay,” she says after a second, “looking at this stranger who has my face and has made even poorer life choices than me yet has taken my place and is - _impersonating_ me - just seeing her is strange.”

“Are you sure her poor life choices are the ones you want to talk about?” Nyssa says lightly, but the way her teeth worry her bottom lip betray her casual tone.

“Nyssa -”

Laurel’s surprised when Nyssa reaches out - as if to touch Laurel’s hand - but then seems to think better of it. “You can say it, you know.”

“I just - I don't understand,” Laurel says. “I was _dead_.”

“A fact of which I was acutely aware.”

“After everything you told me about moving on from Sara's death despite missing her, _mourning_ her - I don't get why you would bring me back.”

“The bloodlust should not be nearly as prevalent of a side effect with this Pit as it was with my father’s, if that is what you are concerned about,” Nyssa says, looking away, not so much dodging the question as much as ignoring it altogether. “As far as legend has it, as per the map provided by Merlyn, no one has bathed in these particular waters before.”

Fine. Nyssa’s not going to tell her. Laurel sits up and folds her arms. “What about my soul?”

“During my travels after you… died - I met a woman. Zatanna Zatara. She happens to be none other than John Constantine’s former teacher.”

“So of course she knew how to restore my soul,” Laurel says with a nod. “How did you convince her?”

Nyssa manages a half-smile. “Put it this way. The people who owe me favours are far more powerful than those who owe Oliver Queen anything.”

In return Laurel manages a chuckle. “Point taken.”

They eat in silence for a minute, and it's after Nyssa takes a sip of her milkshake that she says, “Are you upset with me?”

“I don't know,” Laurel answers truthfully. “I don't know what I'm feeling, to be honest. Even after I've had time to - process. And I realise I might sound like a hypocrite considering what I did - but I don't know why you brought me back. Especially because - there isn't anything left for me here. Not anymore.” She chokes back tears now, because she's put a dam between her and the inevitable floodgates of grief until she can process that, too, but it's taking too much strength to keep it up. The tears are hot as they trickle down her cheeks and Laurel closes her eyes, trying to will herself to steady a little.

“I know my condolences aren't much to offer,” Nyssa says, and Laurel knows she means it. “But I will offer them nevertheless. You deserved to say goodbye to him.”

“Thank you,” Laurel says faintly. “And I know he wasn't perfect - God knows he could have done things differently for me as a father… but I still can't believe he's gone.”

“And I'm sorry I couldn't bring him back,” Nyssa continues. “But this Pit is different from the others. That's how I knew it wasn't used before - because this one is special. It can only be used once. And when we lost you… your father asked me to bring you back. I couldn't. Once I discovered the other Pits... I realised I could right at least one wrong in the world. And that was when you were taken from it.”

“And that's it?” Laurel says after a pause. “That's why you literally brought me back from the dead? To honour the memory of a man who didn't even like you very much?”

Nyssa shakes her head. “No, that's not why. I -” And it's only now that Nyssa loses some of her composure and Laurel feels a weird sense of victory knowing that she's finally gotten under Nyssa's skin - from what she remembers that is no small feat. But then Laurel shakes her head, remembering what her doppelganger said to her before she fell asleep. That Nyssa loves her. She must, to go to such lengths to bring her back from another plane of existence altogether. And the whys and hows are important, sure, but right now as she watches Nyssa al Ghul nervously take a sip of her milkshake, Laurel realises there's something that takes precedence.

Taking a deep breath, Laurel reaches out, gently moving Nyssa's hand away from her milkshake, pushing it aside.

“I'm sorry,” Laurel says softly, touching Nyssa's cheek. “I didn't mean to push you. My head was always kind of all over the place even without the whole resurrection thing. And now it’s like - everything’s so intense.”

“What do you mean?”

“Do you remember… the first few days we spent together?” Laurel says after hesitating for a long moment.

“After my father disowned me, you mean?”

“No,” she answers. “I’m talking about - those summer nights, after everything went down with that bioweapon attack and Oliver killed your father and you were going to leave for Nanda Parbat and we -”

“Yes,” Nyssa interrupts with a smile, one that spreads slowly across her face, not just with her lips but with her eyes, rich with so much _feeling_ , right across to the faint blush on cheekbones so sharp they could cut glass. “Do you think I would ever forget the happiest days of my life?”

At this, Laurel’s lost for words, and it takes a few seconds for her to find her voice again. When she does speak, she realises she’s getting choked up and clears her throat impatiently. “There was this time you said to me that you just… felt too much. Every emotion - anger, love, hate, sadness - and that you didn’t understand how I could see past that. But now I really get that. Because right now, that’s me all over. It’s like - the volume of all these feelings and memories and thoughts is turned right up, and it’s hard for me to even think.”

“And for that I’m -”

“I don’t want you to be sorry,” Laurel cuts across softly. “I don't want to sound ungrateful, Nyssa, because I'm not. I just don’t get what makes me so special.”

“Laurel, before your funeral, I told your father I would do anything for you,” Nyssa says. “I meant it then, after I had lost you, and I mean it now. And I've been - lost without you. Not just lonely, like I was when I lost Sara. This was worse. It was like part of me had been missing. And seeing you here, living and breathing as I bear witness - I feel close to whole for maybe the first time in my life. And maybe that was selfish of me, but if it means making the world a little brighter by bringing you back into it… I think it's worth it. Even if you never forgive me for it.”

This time Laurel smiles automatically. “Nyssa - I don't need to forgive you. Because I love you for it.”

Nyssa's eyes widen in surprise, and she's half out of her chair as she leans forward and says, “Can I -”

But Laurel's already beat her to it, standing up too, kissing her, heart soaring when Nyssa lifts her off her feet.

“For the record,” Nyssa says through a soft gasp, “I love you too.”

_ii. earth-8_

Nyssa’s never run so fast in her life.

Sure, she’s chased perps before, but this is different. For once, Nyssa's running towards something, some _one_ she wants, and not, she realises, to interrogate or put in a cell or even work with - no. She wants someone to have a future with.

She gets it now. Laurel wants more. And that’s why she’s leaving.

God, Nyssa's been so _stupid_. Even now, as she turns a corner and the train station comes into view, Nyssa can't believe she missed what was right in front of her the whole time. As Nyssa rushes towards the ticket barriers, she just about catches sight of Laurel’s familiar black leather jacket and blonde hair, heeled boots clacking against the platform as she’s about to board the train.

“Special Agent Nyssa Raatko, FBI,” Nyssa says quickly to the ticket officer, moving her jacket to show her badge. “I need to stop that train.”

“The one to Keystone?” he says, and she nods frantically. “Is something wrong?”

“No,” Nyssa says immediately, and the man raises his eyebrows. “I mean - yes, but it’s not - I just need to speak with someone on that train. Now.”

“So it’s urgent?” he asks, and Nyssa sighs, then puts her hands on her hips purposefully.

“Yes, it’s urgent. And you’re going to let me through unless you want me to arrest you for obstruction.”

He’s silent with a sullen look on his face as he lets Nyssa through the barrier with his pass, and Nyssa all but sprints towards the train, which is getting ready for departure and is about to close its doors. Thankfully Nyssa spots the conductor and when she shows her badge the woman puts her hand up, signalling to the driver, and the doors stay open.

“Nyssa Raatko, FBI,” Nyssa calls. “Nothing to worry about, just some, uh, routine checks.”

Before the conductor can question her further, Nyssa gets on, heart racing, searching for the face she’s grown to know so well over the years. She gets halfway through the carriage before she spots Laurel, who’s buried in a book - a romance, no doubt, knowing her - and doesn’t see Nyssa.

“Lance…” Nyssa starts to say, and Laurel frowns before looking up, and then her eyes widen in surprise.

“Raatko? What are you doing here?” Laurel demands, immediately getting to her feet. Nyssa can't blame her for being defensive, given how their last conversation ended.

“Looking for you, actually,” Nyssa replies after a second. “I wanted to…” But she trails off because what can she say, really? Where does she even start?

They're starting to attract attention from the other passengers.

Laurel draws herself up to her full height, crosses her arms. “What? You wanted to what? Tell me what the hell was so important you had to come here, now, because I don't know what's -”

“You were right,” Nyssa interrupts. “You said to me that I didn't know how to act like a normal person. That I've been keeping something from you and that I lied to you during our last assignment and you couldn't accept that when I was meant to be your partner and trust you with my life like you do with yours. That I'm closed off and selfish and difficult to work with - you're right. I'm all of those things and so, so much worse. But I - I can tell you the truth now.”

But Laurel still looks sceptical. “Why, because the truth suddenly sets you free?”

Nyssa shakes her head. “No. I'm never going to feel that way. But maybe - just maybe - I might change your mind. About leaving here.”

Laurel closes her eyes in exasperation and when she opens them again Nyssa's surprised to see they're brimming with emotion. “It's too late,” she says in a cracked voice. “ _You're_ too late. Whatever it is you're keeping from me - we're done, Raatko, because you don't trust me.”

“I do,” Nyssa says pleadingly. “Lance… _Laurel_ , I really do. You're the person I trust most in the world.”

“So how could you lie to me?”

“To protect -”

“I don't need protection,” Laurel snaps. “I do the protecting. _We_ do.”

“But I don't want anything to ever happen to you because I -”

“Because you what, Nyssa? I'm not a precious rookie snowflake anymore. But you refuse to treat me like an equal while convincing me that you want to be my _friend_ \- and then you wonder why I chose to leave? Really?”

But then Laurel's eyes move off Nyssa and over her shoulder.

“Agent Raatko, my colleague tells me you're holding up this train for an urgent FBI matter. Care to explain what the hell you think you're doing?”

Nyssa ignores the more senior-looking officer, though. Taking a deep breath, she goes with it, because it’s now or never, really. “The truth is, Laurel, that I - I love you. And I have battled with how I feel for so long because I… thought you were too good for me and I didn't think I could be good _to_ you if by some miracle you felt the same way. I felt that if I told you - I'd risk losing you. And I can't lose you. Ever.”

The wave of relief Nyssa feels when she sees Laurel's shoulders fall slowly and her eyes soften is so strong that she's surprised she can stay upright because Nyssa's said her piece and yet _Laurel isn't running away_.

And the officer still behind Nyssa now has a hand on her shoulder but even her grip slackens a bit at Nyssa's words.

“What?” Laurel breathes after a good minute of total silence. (The carriage is silent, the other passengers waiting with bated breath.)

“I love you,” Nyssa repeats. “I've been in love with you for so long I don't think I can remember a time when I didn't. But I realised recently that it doesn't matter how you feel in return. I realised that how I feel doesn't have to have - conditions. I feel happy just to be able to say it to you because you mean so much to me and -”

“Okay, that's enough,” the officer interrupts, grabbing Nyssa's arm and steering her away.

Laurel doesn't call after Nyssa, so God only knows what she's thinking, but if Nyssa isn't mistaken she can definitely hear a sniffle as she's taken away into a separate room.

Not much is said to her, except that the officer is getting her supervisor, and Nyssa sits back in the chair, sighing. In the distance she can hear the sound of the whistle as the train departs the station, clearly delayed because of Nyssa's desperate last-ditch attempt to explain being a shitty human being to the only person in the world she's truly cared about but nevertheless still en route to Keystone.

And once again - she’s failed.

Nyssa puts her head in her hands, wondering what on earth made her decide to do something so stupid. She hears the door open but doesn't want to look up - that is, until she recognises the familiar scent of red vanilla perfume that she only associates with one person.

“Laurel,” Nyssa breathes. “What are you -?”

And despite everything, it's impossible for Nyssa's heart not to soar at Laurel's attempt at a nonchalant shrug. “I… thought I should try to get you out of this. Not that you haven't been in deeper shit before, but it's still bad. I mean - what would you have done it I were on a plane?”

Nyssa tries to smile. “TSA would probably have me arrested,” she says slowly, “because I would have tried to stop your flight.”

“This isn't like you, Nyssa,” Laurel says softly. “Breaking every rule in the book so you could tell me that you…” She can't quite finish that sentence and looks away. But it’s okay. Nyssa doesn't exactly expect her to.

“Suffice it to say that I am rarely, if ever, able to think straight when it comes to you.”

At first Laurel doesn't reply, just smiles, then her brow creases like she's seriously considering something, her gaze on Nyssa's mouth and then her eyes and then her mouth again. Automatically Nyssa closes her eyes and miraculously she's rewarded a second later when she feels Laurel's lips, warm and sweet and _hungry_ for her, on her own.

When Laurel's kissed all the breath out of her and Nyssa is left gasping for air, she finally pulls away and says quietly, “Nyssa… don’t you dare think straight when it comes to me again, okay?”

“Understood,” Nyssa replies, still breathless and sure Laurel's smudged her lipstick a fair amount from their kiss. Sure enough, Laurel reaches out a second later, uses her finger to wipe away a bit of makeup from the corner of Nyssa's mouth, and Nyssa's heart is racing but after a moment she musters up the courage to ask, “What about your train?”

Laurel laughs now, and it's music to Nyssa's ears, especially when she says, “You asked me to stay, right?”

Nyssa smiles. “I did.” Daringly, she reaches out and touches Laurel's hand where it's still resting on the table, and Laurel squeezes her hand in return.

“Okay. I will.” And like everything with Laurel Lance it is just that simple for her. She grins at Nyssa, then gets to her feet as three annoyed-looking men walk into the room, and Nyssa breathes just a little bit easier - not because Laurel's going to get her out of this hole Nyssa's dug for herself (as per usual) but because by some miracle this beautiful woman she's head over heels in love with is still by her side.

_iii. earth-17_

Dusk is just starting to fall on one of Coast City’s quieter beaches. A few people are lingering on a couple of deck chairs on the far side of the coast, but as far as Dinah is concerned, there’s only one person with her right now, and that is her soon-to-be wife.

Nyssa is clad in a simple white dress, just like Dinah, wrists and neck decorated with tiny, intricate blue flower chains, the colour of the waves that gently splash forward from behind her. As she approaches Dinah, Nyssa's playing with her engagement ring and Dinah watches as the diamond catches the deep red rays from the glow of the sunset.

Dinah smiles. “Hey, you,” she says when Nyssa reaches her side. Reaching out, Dinah touches her fiancée’s wrist, then slips her fingers through Nyssa's.

“Ya Dinah,” Nyssa says softly, “are you… are you sure about this?”

“Why, are you getting cold feet or something?” Dinah asks playfully, and the quip has left her mouth before she sees the uncertainty on Nyssa's face, and then Dinah's sure her heart has dropped to her stomach in an instance and her face falls. “You're not - getting cold feet, are you?”

Her expression clearing a little, Nyssa raises her eyebrows. “On the contrary, the sand between my toes feels very warm indeed.”

“Nyssa…”

“Dinah,” Nyssa interrupts, “you can't possibly think that I would have a single doubt about marrying you.” Dinah must still look worried, though, because at this Nyssa takes both of Dinah's hands into her own and kisses her knuckles. “My darling, I've dreamt of this day for so long. You know that.”

Dinah's breath catches in her throat now, and words almost fail her before she finally manages, “Save the vows for later, babe,” and Nyssa chuckles. Dinah wouldn't normally feel so choked up - God knows she was too busy worrying about Ollie being late to the altar at her first wedding to really get emotional - but she can't help it. It's happening, _really_ happening. And this is not a pleasant dream that she'll surface from, disappointed and yearning for more, or some tortuous fantasy that she wouldn't ordinarily have even dared to dream until…

… until Lian Yu, until the boat she was on for her honeymoon capsized and her world was literally turned upside-down and to this day Dinah still doesn't quite understand how she emerged it from her ordeal alive.

“Yes,” Dinah says suddenly. Nyssa looks confused for a second. “In answer to your question - yes. I'm sure. I've never been more sure of anything in my life.”

“You really love me?” Nyssa's voice is soft with disbelief as she leans her forehead against Dinah's and looks her in the eyes.

“With everything in me,” Dinah replies without hesitation. “I always have.”

Nyssa breathes in deeply, then says, “I'm glad. I just - promise me something, please,” Nyssa says.

“Babe,” Dinah says, smiling, “you know I would promise you anything in the world.”

“No boats.”

“No boats,” Dinah repeats. “Cross my heart.”

“I hope this is a good time to interrupt.” Tatsu’s voice makes them both look up. “Hey, partner,” she says to Nyssa, who grins back. “You okay, Dinah?”

“Yeah,” Dinah says faintly, impatiently brushing away the tracks still on her cheeks. “Don't worry. They're - happy tears.”

Tatsu turns to Nyssa. “You wanna get right to it, then?”

“I would like that very much,” Nyssa says warmly.

“I have your vows here,” Tatsu says, handing a small folded square of paper to Dinah, then rummaging in her pocket for a slightly crumpled yellow napkin with Nyssa's familiar messy scrawl on it. Dinah raises her eyebrows at Tatsu, amused, only for Tatsu to shrug and turn to Nyssa.

“I wasn't sure what to write,” she admits to Dinah. “Only worked it out this morning.”

“Just keep talking like you stepped out of a Jane Austen novel and you'll be fine,” Dinah assures Nyssa with a wink.

Nyssa smiles back, moves to stand opposite Dinah. Unfolding her own vows, Dinah fumbles with the paper, her hands shaking a bit until Nyssa stills her with a touch of her fingertips.

“Ready?” Tatsu asks, and when Dinah looks at her she can see their friend’s eyes have lit up with warmth and Dinah knows right then that there is nowhere else any of them would rather be. “Dearly beloved. I am here today to bear witness to the long-anticipated union of Dinah Lance and Nyssa Raatko.”

“You mind if I go first?” Dinah says, and Nyssa's eyes twinkle because she _must_ be thinking what Dinah's thinking. Nyssa just nods after a second, though, feeling Tatsu’s eyes on them, so Dinah takes a deep breath and says, “Nyssa, I...when I first met you, I - I thought I knew how I saw the world. And I thought I had a good idea of what justice meant. But I got you as my partner and… from the very beginning, you made me question _everything_. I remember you said I made you a better detective but you made me a better person. Because when I saw you, so strong in your convictions, fearless, and the most moral person I've ever known by a mile - you just threw me completely off my game. You're the only person who ever has. And even when I was marrying someone else - my constant was still you. Whatever happened, I always found you by my side. Whether I woke up in a hospital with broken ribs, or you stuck your neck out for me, protected me, after I fucked up with a case, or when I just needed a friend to tell me it was okay - you were always there.

“And when I was - away… the thought of you is what kept me alive. There were times when I felt like dying. But dying would have been easy. And you always taught me that the choice isn't between right and wrong. It's between what’s right and what’s easy. And there was something I wanted so, so much more than leaving this earth - and that was seeing you. You were my north star. My way home.”

“I still can't believe you found your way back to me,” Nyssa whispers through tears. “Sorry, this is beautiful and I'm interrupting…”

“You never have to apologise to me,” Dinah tells her. “Not ever.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too,” Dinah says softly. “And I want the world to know it. You're not just my home, Nyssa. You're my _life_ , and I want to share mine with you forever - as your wife.”

She takes the ring from Tatsu’s open palm, murmuring her thanks to their friend, and Dinah tries to stop her hand trembling as she places the ring on Nyssa's finger.

“Wow. That was… I don't know what to say,” Nyssa says. “I like it when you use your words.”

“I like it even more when you use yours.”

They're both surprised when they hear a sniffle from their friend and officiate, who has to turn away for a second. When Tatsu gathers a bit of composure she turns back to them, mostly stoic once more, clears her throat and says, “Okay. Nyssa?”

“I - when you were gone, Dinah, I never lost hope. I never stopped looking for you. And I wish I could say it was because of some sixth sense that I had, that I knew you were alive, somehow. But the truth is that I couldn't bear to live in a world without you in it. And when you came back to me, against every odd imaginable, something changed. Because I thought I could love you from afar without ever telling you and that I would be content with that. That I could live with that, because that would mean at least I didn't have to live without you.

“So being able to tell you that I love you unconditionally… I have tried, habibti, to say how much it means to be in words, but with you words have always failed me. And I am -” Dinah watches as Nyssa stops to take a breath and hold back the emotion Dinah can see sparkling in her eyes “- I could not be more proud to marry you, to make a vow to stand by you. It means the world to me. And so do you.”

“You always love to one-up me, huh?” Dinah says teasingly. “That was really nice.”

“Here you go,” says Tatsu, giving Nyssa the remaining ring, and she slips it onto Dinah's ring finger with the biggest smile that lights up her eyes and flushes her cheeks a faint shade of pink. “So, by the power vested in me by the, uh, email-order ministry, I hereby declare Dinah Laurel Lance and Nyssa Raatko to be legally bound. Ladies, you may kiss your -”

But then Tatsu bursts out laughing because Dinah's already pulled Nyssa towards her and after a second, Tatsu smiles, slipping away from her friends’ entwined silhouettes. And Dinah's world isn't the hot sand between her toes or the noisy rush of the tide slowly approaching them or salty Coast City breeze filling her nose, but the woman in her arms whispering sweet everythings in her ear.

_iv. earth-2_

Dinah's lying on her side on her bed, staring blankly at the stars, when Amina climbs from her roof onto Dinah's. Amina grins at her best friend, whose eyes immediately widen at the sight of her. She runs to open the window to let Amina in.

Amina doesn't hesitate, for once, and immediately ducks her head so she can enter through the window and throw her arms around Dinah, and Amina can't help but breathe in deeply as she buries her nose in Dinah's shoulder and for a fleeting second she's pretty sure Dinah's lifted her off her feet. Dinah smells of flowers and perfume and summer, like she always has, but most of all of _home_.

“I missed you,” Amina says with a contented sigh when they finally pull away. Automatically Dinah takes Amina’s hand so they can sit on the bed next to each other.

“I missed you too. And not just because AP English isn't the same without you.”

“I miss it,” Amina says, and Dinah just shakes her head fondly. “I can’t wait to catch up with everything.”

“That makes one of us.” Dinah visibly hesitates, now, and then says tentatively, “How's Mrs Raatko doing?”

At this Amina looks away. “The same,” she says quietly. “They said there's nothing they can do, even in National City.”

“I wish there was something _I_ could do,” Dinah says softly. Amina closes her eyes, for in that moment Dinah touches her cheek and tucks her hair behind her ear. “I wanna help.”

“Dinah Lance,” Amina says fondly, “always trying to save the world.”

But Dinah shakes her head. “No. I don’t care about the world. Just you and _your_ world - which obviously includes your mom.”

Appropriately timed, a ginger cat jumps onto the windowsill and meows loudly in protest.

“And Mittens, right?” Amina asks. Dinah smiles, and Amina groans inwardly because of _course_ her best friend knows what Amina is doing, trying to lighten the mood and pretend everything is okay when it's anything but. Yet thankfully Dinah humours her after a second.

“I already saved him once, but fine, okay. Him too.”

Silence falls, but it's the comfortable kind that they're both used to. Amina looks out of the window, marvelling at the view of the stars when she turns her head a little. The moon is a thin, barely-there crescent in the inky sky, but its light is still bright and it beautifies ever star it shines upon.

They've been here before, more than a few times, watching the constellations scattered across the heavens above. Dinah would lay her head on Amina’s shoulder, listening to Amina name them - Andromeda, Orion, Scorpius - pointing to each one she saw. Amina would tell Dinah a tale she learned in Hebrew school about how God created the sun and the moon on the fourth day, and because the moon was smaller in size He created companions in the stars that surrounded her. And Dinah would look up, smile at her, face lit up by the glow of the half-moon, and say: _That’s beautiful._

Amina would smile back, whisper: _So are you._

“I don't know what to do,” Amina says at last. “Mom has all but given up. She says that if it's time for her to go… that's her fate.”

“And you?” Dinah asks. “What do you think?”

“I mean - I believe in fate. In what is written for me.”

But Dinah surprises her with what she says next. “You can't seriously believe that.”

Amina finds she’s stung by this, unexpectedly so. “That doesn't mean I'm going to just let my mother go,” she says. “But if something happens - I get that it's out of my hands. Even if I don't know what I'm gonna do if she -”

“The doctors will find a way,” Dinah insists, taking Amina’s hand. “I promise.”

At this Amina shakes her head and despite herself she can feel the beginnings of a smile on her lips because that is just something Dinah would say. “You can't possibly promise that. Believer or not.”

Dinah sighs. “Maybe I can’t. Fine. Then I promise - I promise that whatever happens… I'll be there for you. Now and forever.”

Amina wants to promise the same in return. She should. But she opens her mouth and can't form the words, can't form _any_ words, because it’s like she’s finally cracked. It’s a long time coming, really, because Amina hasn’t let herself cry - that would make all of this _real_ and she wouldn’t be able to stay strong for her mother like she promised her she always would. But now, here she is, tears dripping down her cheeks. She barely registers Dinah pulling her close, gently stroking her hair.

“Shhh.”

“I'm sorry, I just -”

“You have nothing to apologise for,” Dinah says firmly. Then, as if she's read Amina’s mind, she leans her forehead against her best friend’s and adds, “And you're my best friend and I love you so don't think for a second that you owe me anything in return.”

She says that last quickly, and Amina smiles, really smiles, now, because how could she not, when Dinah's gazing at her like that through hooded lids, eyes dark and wanting? Amina realises she's waiting, though, because Dinah doesn't lean forward, just holds her gaze steadily until Amina says suddenly, “Dinah, close your eyes.”

Dinah's brow creases for a second but then she sits up and does as she's told, looking like she's holding her breath.

It's not that Amina hasn't kissed her before. She has. And vice versa. But this is different. She's not sure if it's because of the tiny beams of starlight filtering through the darkest of shadows into Dinah's bedroom, or because she's suddenly acutely aware of how warm Dinah’s thigh feels pressed against hers.

Amina puts her arms around Dinah's neck, moving her hair out of the way, and then kisses her. And usually their kisses are light and quick, or languid and vaguely experimental, but this time it's neither - Amina kisses with a desperation and thirst that it feels like her life depends on it. She kisses her like a drowning woman with Dinah as her sole source of oxygen, so hard that there's no way she's imagining how swollen red Dinah's lips look when they finally come up for air.

But Dinah, it seems, is hungry for her too, intent on touching every inch of her she can reach. Amina reaches out, tangles her fingers with Dinah's as she falls back against the pillows.

They don't need words, not really, but Amina says them anyway, pressing promises into Dinah's palm and then covering it with her own hand, like their palms are a book’s pages and her vow to love her a flower to put in between.

Amina doesn't know that she can't keep her promise, that a day from now her mother will depart this world and she'll have to leave forever to the other side of the world to be with her father and sister without saying goodbye because she can’t take more pain. She has no idea about who Dinah will become in the years that follow, how everyone she loves will leave her, on a boat, in a taxi, in missed calls and unanswered texts, and she'll wake one day with a terrible sonic scream that shatters glass and bursts eardrums. Certainly, Amina doesn't know _what_ Dinah will become, shifting from earth to earth, villain to villain, prison to prison.

(And some days, when she's in Nyssa's safe house on earth-1 and she sees a sliver of the moon in the star-strewn sky - Black Siren watches the glittering constellations, and like she’s done every single night since Amina left, she wishes on a star that she’s still here, beneath the same heavens as her.)

_“[Hashem ordered, ‘The moon’s] light shall be one-sixtieth of its previous strength.’ The moon complained to Hashem at her plight and, so that she should not remain utterly without comfort, Hashem gave her companions – the stars.”_

_–Naomi Alderman, Disobedience_

**Author's Note:**

> Finito! I hope you liked this. If you did, I would absolutely love you forever and possibly name my grandchild after you if you leave a comment in that box below. I thrive on feedback and always aim to respond to all comments. Thank you so much for reading, because you peeps keep my OTP alive and remind me that I'm not on this ship alone <3


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